Hi Novel Readers,
Now, I know this isn't a novel, but that's how my English professor starts out all of her emails and it makes me feel really special. Also, my life is just absolutely ridiculous that it may as well be a novel. :)
This week, I hit the campaign trial. I ran for a position as senator for the Class of 2014. I knew from the start that this campaign was going to be an epic fail and after my humiliating experience at the Lip Sync competition, I knew I had to end this campaign with a bang. I'm all about going big or going home. If I'm going to participate in an election, I will MAKE SURE people remember my campaign.
My campaign started at Speech Night this past Monday. To assure my constituents of just how serious I would be taking this campaign, I wore a tuxedo. Yes, I WORE A TUXEDO. Just picture. Every candidate is going up there and giving passionate speeches about how they'll help the student body...and here comes Christian with a tuxedo. As if that wasn't enough, I made sure my speech left an impression. Here it is:
"Wow. Even when I’m wearing a tuxedo, Ian Hatch is still the best-dressed person in the room. Hi everyone, my name is Christian Aviles and I’m a member of the Class of 2014. I guess I should start by saying that I’m wearing this tuxedo to show you just how serious I’m going to be taking this campaign.
During the most recent campaign for the President of the Association of Amherst Students, we all witnessed moments where all gloves came off. Me? I’m above all that. My gloves came off the moment the campaign started. My opponents may have ethical boundaries; I have none.
I want to be the very best, like no senator ever was. To represent Amherst is my test, to fight for you is my cause. Amherst, it's you and me. I know being a senator is my destiny. Let's fight for Amherst. Our courage will pull us through. Vote for me and I'll fight for you. It'll be a challenge. It's never easy when there's so much on the line. But you and I can make a difference. One day at a time.
Happy Election Games, and may the odds be ever in my favor."
Yes. Not only did I quote Hunger Games, I also quoted the Pokemon song. THE POKEMON SONG. Who am I as a human being??!!!
But my campaign was just getting started. I had my lovely friends translate my campaign posters into like 10 different foreign languages: German, French, Russian, Arabic, Italian, Portuguese, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, and Spanish. And at the bottom of each poster, I wrote, "Inclusivity is great, isn't it?" Can you imagine all the confused faces as they saw my face on giant posters written in foreign languages?! Of course, I also printed some in English, but so did every other candidate. I wanted to make sure my potential constituents understood that I was going to represent them no matter what language they speak. I know, I think I'm awesome too.
Oh, then I had this really awesome "Athlete" poster:
Of course, the odds are not in my favor. Although campaign results will not come out until Saturday at midnight (you know, that time we think it's STILL Friday but it's actually not?). There are eight senators in each class year. The eight senators in my class are fantastic people. I've been to the Association of Amherst Student meetings and they have done a fantastic job at improving student life. But you know...having the exact same people represent us again? They'll all definitely get re-elected, but hey, we gotta make sure they have competition now and then...just to make sure they keep doing their job (I wouldn't exactly call myself "competition" but you catch my drift).
I'll let y'all know the results but....if there are only 5 votes next to my name, I think I'll transfer. Just kidding. :)
In other pressing matters: I worked the score board at a lacrosse game last week! Y'all KNOWWWWWWW how big of a LAX fan I've become, and it was the greatest honor to be part of the team that made the event happened. And I didn't ruin the game! I was worried that I was going to accidentally add too many points to one team, or stop the time from running, or somehow give the wrong player the penalty on the board. So many things could have gone wrong...but they didn't.
In other news: my thesis proposal is due May 2nd. YAYYYYYYYYY........awkward....because I haven't even thought about what I'm writing. I better go ahead and buy a ticket for the struggle bus because I'm going to be riding that thing for the next year and a half.
Until next time, mis amigos.
[Title Reference: A play on Obama's campaign slogan, haha]