Deceased July 10, 2019

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In Memory

It was my lucky day in September 1961, when I walked into 304 Stearns and met my roommate, Mike Alcivar. He, from Lawrenceville, me, from Deerfield. We shared not only a prep school background but also interests in sports, activities and some classes. Freshman math-physics was not one of them. I passed with a 61; Mike’s 59 earned him summer school at the notorious Trinity make-up session.

Neither of us had money. To survive, we worked in Valentine, delivered newspapers and napped on security duty at the Mead Art Gallery. After graduation, we painted houses. One day I was told to stay behind while Mike was sent out with a crew. The foreman said, “Tom, you work too slowly; you’re fired.” In shock, I found Mike and told him. He said, “Then I quit.” Despite my protests, he said, “You’re my friend, and we go together.” He dropped his paintbrush, got in the car, and we left. I have never forgotten that singular moment of friendship.

Our paths diverged, but we saw one another occasionally as years passed. After the navy, Michael received an MBA from UMass, joined Citibank and specialized in training personnel for service in Caribbean and Latin America countries. He moved several times, finally ending up in St. Louis as their children entered school age. Tragically, his wife, Dianne, died in 1997 of a brain tumor. Later, Mike married Ximena Parga.

Mike traveled often for business; he and Ximena continued visiting foreign countries after his retirement. Last year, Mike faltered in France; it became apparent that he had cancer. I visited him three times in 2019, the last in early July, when he sat in a chair, covered by a blanket. When it was time to leave, I put my hand on his shoulder, wondering if this would be the last time I would see my friend.

It was.

Tom Poor ’65

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