December 10, 1992
I enjoyed your November 17th letter. Its comments and suggestions inspired me to spend time reflecting on where I've been for the past twenty-ﬁve years, where I think I am now and to where I might go. Fortunately, you caught me at a time when I am probably in the best place I've been since Amherst, not only from a physical point of view (I live on St. John in the U.S. Virgin Islands and am probably in the best shape I've been in since college) but also from an emotional and spiritual perspective. My journey to the Caribbean really started almost tvventy-ﬁve ‘years ago. I got my ﬁrst taste of island living in 1968.'.vhile on Bermuda with the Amherst rugby team. Ever since then I've daydreamed about living in the tropics. Many Caribbean vacations over the years further fueled this ﬁre. Finally, in February of 1992, following a year of debate and planning, I put my "stuff" in storage and
moved to the Virgin Islands. I'd like to share a bit of this journey to paradise with my fellow travelers.
Following Amherst, I did the typical ﬁve year "don't want to serve but don't want to flee" routine and worked as a math and German teacher in a New Jersey prep school. After the draft ended, law school beckoned. Some graduate degree was necessary in order that I restore the academic self-esteem which was taken away from me so swiftly during the third week of September of 1964. Unlike at Amherst, I was a very serious student and, also unlike at Amherst, I distinguished myself academically (summa and Law Review). My legal career took off with a prestigious federal clerkship, followed by ﬁve years with a major New York City law ﬁrm and then a couple of years as litigation counsel for a Fortune 500. So far so good, right? In 1984 I became a founding partner of an executive search ﬁrm in Washington D.C., specializing in nationwide attorney placement for large law ﬁrms and corporate legal departments. Business was great. Our ﬁrm enjoyed a reputation for excellence and, as managing partner, I enjoyed what I thought were the fruits of success -- money, prestige and power in my own little world. I mention these accomplishments for two reasons: (1) if l don't, who will ?; and (2) to dramatize my fall from this seemingly invulnerable, lofty place. In October of 1989 my world crumbled as my business dissolved, and I wound up in a rehab in Bethesda, Maryland to overcome a habit I developed and refined at Amherst -- alcohol abuse.
I have been clean and sober for over three years. I'm now in the scuba diving business on St. John, an island which has 4,000 residents and among the world's most beautiful beaches and weather. I live in a house on top of a mountain with a view that goes on forever, a great woman, four dogs and a battered old jeep. Although I came to St. John for the diving, I've come to realize that the true reason I am here is to develop a perspective on my life, to get in touch with my inner self and to reﬁne my game plan for the second half. I am making signiﬁcant progress. My tools include a lot of reading and writing, prayer and meditation and a twelve step recovery program. I must say that engaging in this pursuit is by far life's greatest gift to me. I really have the freedom to do whatever I want to do here. It's very similar to the Freedom we enjoyed at Amherst, a Freedom some of us were better able to handle than others.
Most importantly, I have learned that a life which deﬁnes success in external terms such as money, possessions, and self-absorbed performance and achievement often carries with it a tremendous emptiness. I lament often that if only I could have ﬁgured this out in 1964 or I965, life would have been so much easier. Through my work on myself, I am ﬁnding fulﬁllment in pursuits of the spirit, the mind and the body as opposed to the job, the car and the wallet. I am developing a life with new values and where service plays a fundamental role in my purpose. I'm trying to compose my life as a work in progress which unfolds and improves every day.
I look forward to seeing everyone in May.