Deceased November 12, 2016

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25th Reunion Book Entry


In Memory

Catherine Ellen Kerr, the class of 1985, whose spirit burned fiercely for 52 years, died on November 12, 2016.

For anyone and all lucky to have encountered Cathy, she left a lasting impression.

As Jane Thrailkill '85 put it in a shorter piece for the Amherst magazine, "From the start, I was drawn to Cath's insatiable curiosity, native brilliance, and indifference to rules or conventions."

Upon hearing of Cathy's death, another old friend, who had fallen out of touch, still vividly recalled the junior year abroad they spent together in Rome. Their exuberance was disrupting an art history class. So, the teacher, a wise Italian man, took them aside and informed them that they'd be going around Rome with him looking at art instead. First outing, sunrise the next day. The trio set off in the direction of St Peter's Basilica and the Sistine Chapel. In the quiet and empty early morning hours, they wandered. They lay down on the floor and looked at Michelangelo's ceiling. They returned to the Sistine Chapel four or five additional mornings.       

Such unusual experiences had a way of finding Cathy, or being created by her, throughout her all too brief life.

Janie writes about another serendipitous moment in the making: "Cathy and I have been friends since move-in day at Amherst, 35 years ago. We didn't know it then, but roommates Jon Kranes '85 and Hawley Truax '85 were also moving in that day: Cathy's and my husbands-to-be." A lifelong foursome formed that would share many highs and some lows. That would travel, eat, laugh, and converse pleasurably through the decades, enriching each other's lives.       

In 1996 Cathy was diagnosed with multiple myeloma, a cancer of the bone marrow, and defied for over two decades the terrifying odds that came with it. She was told she faced a median survival of five years, with limited, highly risky options for treatment. Rejecting that fate, Cathy sought the guidance of teachers in alternative healing and martial arts. She embarked on intensive daily practices of qigong, tai chi and meditation. As years passed, Cathy had no doubt that these practices had saved her life.       

After her diagnosis, Cathy found herself occupied by new questions, requiring different analytic tools. This resulted in a career crossroads as well. A humanities scholar with a PhD. in American Studies from Johns Hopkins Humanities Center, and a love for history and social and political thought, Cathy reoriented herself and strode down a new path in science.        

While at Harvard Medical School, co-researching the placebo effect with Ted Kaptchuk, she received a coveted five- year grant from the National Institutes of Health to support career retraining and development. And forward Cathy raced, strikingly committed to her work, time of the essence.       

Cathy contributed to important findings in the cognitive neuroscience of meditation, publishing a groundbreaking paper in 2005 under the lead author Sara Lazar, who was a great friend as well as valued colleague. Cathy's emerging work focused on novel ways of measuring how mindfulness and tai chi can transform practitioners' bodily awareness and sensory acuity.       

In 2011, Cathy joined the Department of Family Medicine at Brown University and was named the Director of Translational Neuroscience in the Contemplative Studies Initiative. At Brown she created the Embodied Neuroscience Lab whose main focus was the Vitality Project, a clinical trial she designed to investigate the healing role of qigong in cancer survivors.       

Personally, two of the greatest sources of pleasure and joy in Cath's life were her bonds with Olivia Truax '16 and Margot Tomasky. Cathy was godmother to Janie and Hawley's oldest daughter and took on her role with utter love and gusto, developing a beautiful relationship with Olivia, who was able to visit with Cathy in her final days.        

Margot, Cathy's six-year-old niece, daughter to her beloved sister Sarah, perhaps touched Cathy's heart deepest of all. In Margot, Cathy saw not only another generation of her family, but a vibrant, dark-haired creature full of humor, creatively inclined, verbally dexterous. A child who could go to the essence of Cathy and Jon's cats when she named them Dexter foodmonster and Dunkin cutenapper. With Margot, Cathy found tremendous innate comfort and a source of continuous wonder. "Wow, Margot!"       

As a teacher and mentor Cathy thrived. She had an ease and generosity with her students. She found she liked looking after them and was good at it. Cathy was literally responsible for several of her undergraduate students going on to medical school. She wouldn't accept No for them or from them. Her students returned her feelings, discovering in Cathy a professor who had things to teach them that went well beyond books and labs. And whose unconventionality was bracing, even liberating.       

With Jon, Cathy found some time to relax, though perhaps not enough. They enjoyed traveling, especially the American West, watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Firefly, among others, old movies, you know, from the 1920s, 30s. 40s. Remember them? Jon remained a brave and constant companion throughout many difficult years.       

In 2015, after delivering a widely viewed TEDx talk, Cathy, with Jon, traveled to India where Cathy presented pioneering work on the neuroscience of mindfulness to HIs Holiness the Dalai Lama.       

In the last months of her life, Cathy remained absolute in her desire to live and fight her cancer. She continued to work in the face of declining health and physical frailty. She taught classes via skype from Mass General Hospital rooms.       

Cathy was buoyed over this time by a loving community of Amherst friends and others. Jason Kliot '86 and his wife Joana Vicente, Sara Lazar, Carmen MacDougall '85, Ruthanne Deutsch '83, Kate Silbaugh '85 and her husband Dan Jurayj '86, Sonya Mead and Alex Whiting, Chloe Zimmerman, Michael Tomasky, Alan Keenan '85.       

Cathy was committed to spending her last days at home surrounded by family and friends. Against daunting circumstances, this was made possible by Jon. With a little help from some friends: Janie and Hawley, who drove from North Carolina to spend her final week. Ruthanne, who flew from Arizona on her way home to D.C., to visit several days. Carmen, who flew up from D.C. for a day-long visit. Cathy's sister, Sarah, who flew in for the five last days. And Ira Paneth '86, who offered care and companionship over the years and also was present for the last week of Cathy's life.      

With sun streaming through the living room window, and Jon, Sarah, Ira, Hawley and Janie at her bedside, Cathy died at 11:15 on a Saturday morning.       

She is missed. She will be remembered.

These are links to Cathy's presentations:

TedxCollegeHill (Brown University): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AGnGRgyLwMs

Dalai Lama (Mind & Life Conference): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tqXXMXlCy3I 

 

Submitted by Ira Paneth ’86 and Jane Thrailkill ‘85

 

25th Reunion

After Amherst, I spent several unhappy years in graduate school at Johns Hopkins studying history and learned little of importance about how to actually live life. I did get married and maintain some important friendships.

Somehow, by the skin of my teeth, I escaped school and landed a postdoctoral position at Harvard. Four months later I was diagnosed with multiple myeloma, a not-good-at-all blood cancer. I started pursuing a lot of alternative therapies and found that Chinese meditative practices, especially Tai Chi and Qlgong, were remarkably healing. My Harvard postdoc ended and, with Jon's support, I channeled all my energy into studying Tai Chi and Qigong and learning the very thin scientific literature related to meditative practice.

Long story short. I somehow ended up delaying treating and defying some of the odds of the disease (in part, thanks to (Dr.) Mike Kauffman whose work on velcade initially helped me to sleep at night, and later gave me a good treatment option). And, ironically, I've become something of a scientific expert on meditation, Tai Chi and the brain, and also on the placebo effect at Harvard Medical School. 

All of this work has been what you might call karmic. Trying to enhance my quality of life in the midst of a difficult disease, I became a med school research workaholic. l am currently focusing on deepening my meditation and healing practice-a 2006 visit to a Tai Chi/Qigong healing center was enormously helpful. In the midst of so much unexpected flux, my husband Jon Kranes has been with me, and we have been able to live a full life, travelling, rebuilding our house -with lots of time spent just being with friends and family.

Throughout, my Amherst friendships have almost certainly, saved my life .... Hawley Truax, Jane Thrailkill (and their daughters Olivia and Naomi) have figured prominently. And I also often see Carmen MacDougall, Alan Keenan and many other friends (some whom started with our class but ended up graduating in 1986). Life has been unexpectedly interesting. When I let myself embrace the uncertainty, I am able to see the miraculousness of daily life and of my unexpected path.

Reflections on Amherst: for me, what was so wonderful about Amherst were the friendships I made. Also, learning how to question assumptions and closely attend to unexpected moments and interactions (John Cameron's film class was key for this). While there, I know that I often felt quite alienated and negative: about the college. Perhaps in the haze of nostalgia, most of that feeling has dropped away and been forgotten.